In couples counseling, I want one thing to be clear from the start: Neither of you will ever feel ganged up on or judged. This is my approach:
You and your partner are the only members of a team called “US,” and I am your coach – here to guide you so you can grow closer rather than pushing each other away. I want you both to feel:
• Supported and accepted by me, the counselor
• Encouraged and confident that things can improve
• Focused on your strengths, positive skills, and why you fell in love in the first place
The specific approach depends on the goals you, as a couple, have set. Some couples come with general concerns, such as wanting to improve the relationship and feel more connected. Others enter counseling with specific issues such as a recently disclosed affair, specific unresolved conflicts, or challenges with sexual intimacy.
Typically, we begin with a joint session. During the second session I spend some individual time with each of you. This allows me to get a clear vision of what has brought you to counseling, gather the history of the relationship, a brief background on each of you, and to clarify your goals in seeking counseling. From there, most sessions are held jointly. We work on addressing problems realistically, and helping you gain new skills and knowledge within the relationship.
My promise to you – both of you – is that I will not take sides or play judge on your issues. My goal is to help you better manage the differences between you. My role is to offer hope, direction, and motivation to bring emotional safety and affection back into your “Team US.”